Kids · A short read
Kids · a short read · 22 pages
Why Is Everything a Battle?
Shoes on, screen off, into the car seat, and how to say it once, kindly, and mean it
Settle it before you say it.
For the shoes, the park, the screen and the car seat: one three-second move that takes the fight out of more of them than you’d expect.
What it’s costing you
You’ve said it three ways now, and the last one was a bargain you never planned. Some weeks nothing happens without a fight: the shoes, the park, the screen, the small body that goes stiff at the straps. You’ve started to wonder if your child just argues with everything.
The one move
Somewhere along the way, almost everything you need from them started leaving your mouth as a question, and questions get answers. Before you ask for anything, sort it into one of three piles:
- Hold: it’s happening. Say it once, as decided, with your body already moving.
- Hand over: it’s truly theirs, so ask, and live with the answer.
- Let go: it doesn’t matter today, so drop it before you speak, never after the fight.
Use it tonight
“Shoes on. We’re going out.”
“I know you were busy. The shoes still go on.”
“Firm is never stubborn, though. A Hold doesn’t move because they protest, but it can move for something new.”
from Why Is Everything a Battle?
Where it helps you begin
One move, made in the three seconds before you speak, and the words for the four battles that come up in many houses.
You can read it standing up, with your coat on.
What you’ll have
The Hold, the line for the protest, and what to leave unsaid, for shoes, leaving the park, screens off, and the car seat.
The small habits that reopen a decision you’d already made, from the “okay?” on the end to the countdown that keeps resetting.
What the first week may look like, and where to go when it’s bigger than this.
A page for the fridge: your three piles, your words, and this week’s Holds.
What’s inside
If You’re Not Okay Right Now
Why Does Every Little Thing Turn Into a Fight?
Settle It Before You Say It
What It Sounds Like
What Reopens It
When It Tips, and the Week Ahead
A Page for the Fridge
Who it’s for
For children from about two to eight, and the everyday fights that start at the edges of things.
When it’s a full storm, the kind where they can’t hear you at all, that has its own moves, and Through the Storm is where they live.
When it’s you who tips, that’s When It Boils Over.
Why Is Everything a Battle?
- A short read, as a digital PDF, [page count confirmed at the sweep] pages
- Read it in one sitting
- Sent to your email straight away
- A gift from Dear Momma World
“You need three seconds, and the nerve to leave the question mark off.”